At a social gathering of our school batch mates recently, we came across our old friends, some of them, quite close. Midway during the conversations, that were happening simultaneously at different corners, I overheard emotional exclamations like, ” she has changed so much!” Some were shocked, “I can’t believe that’s him!” This got me thinking. After all, I had also felt the same many times.
One important thing which we often forget is that life is in transition, which includes people. A friend you studied with, may not have greeted you with the same excitement when you met after twenty years. And this must have hurt you quite a bit. This happens all the time. So, what causes this change? A lot of factors go into this analysis. At school level, the exposure to people and life are limited. Peer bonding rules the roost. That is an age, where one is confined and content in their small world. The college years are better as one has reached a certain impressionable age by then and people have had some little exposure to life as well.
As people finish studies, pick up jobs, get married, have kids, life has changed and so have their priorities. Their mental makeup is certainly not like before. Of course, there are exceptions. Then, there are some, who bask in the memories and recall those days fondly, all the time. People differ in their outlook towards life. Maturity levels differ too. The socioeconomic status also plays an important role here. It’s possible that two best friends in school may face an awkward moment, when one of them does not reciprocate the sentiments, when they meet, later on in life. In this journey of life, many people come and go, new friends are made, old friendships are no longer valued. Here is how this can be handled .
1. Accept the fact that this person has moved on. Wish him/her well. You need to make new friends and expand your social circle.
2. If you are the emotional kinds, wait for the friend to greet you first, sensing the level of warmth offered, extend your greetings. This helps in avoiding any awkwardness.
3. Do not remain stuck to the old memories and live in it. That’s your past after all. Be aware of your present.
4. In this journey called life, not everyone is destined to travel with you until the very end. Cherish those who have chosen to stick by you and bless those who have moved on.
Uncertainty, is, after all, the beauty of life.
Very Rightly said!
It is what we expect and don’t receive that causes disappointment and leads to resentment, isn’t it? So, as I once learnt from a meditation exercise, don’t expect anything from anyone and you won’t be disappointed. I liked this post. Thanks.
To reach the level on not expecting, requires a lot of mind training, which everyone gets into, at different points of time. These are just tips to avoid unpleasantness. Valuable feedback. Thank you.
“You will never change” phrase can also be heard.
True, nice Observation:)