The Blame Game

Passing the parcel! Many of us have played this innocent game in our childhood, wherein a parcel is passed around and the person, who is left with it, when the music stops, is asked to carry out some task as a form of punishment. This game while it is interesting, terrifies many kids, as the “punishment” is not known to them earlier.

Blaming is a sort of game being played in real life by people of all ages! It is after all, so easy to pass the blame to someone else for something that another person might have done. Such people do not think long enough, to understand, that this is certainly not a game and might hurt others. They are used to doing this and it becomes a habit. Blaming is nothing but evading responsibility! A person who understands that he is responsible for his actions will either not get into such a situation or he will accept his role in it.

Parents should inculcate the sense of responsibility in a child very early on in life. The first time a child indulges in blaming a sibling, parent, or anyone for that matter and the parents have the facts right, there and then he should be corrected. What is responsibility? It is nothing but understanding that your life is as you make it. You and you alone are responsible for it. The skill of making proper choices should be taught in childhood itself, as far as possible.

Evading the consequences of choices you might have made, which have backfired, and blaming someone else for it is wrong. Parents may ask their child to study, buy him all the best books in the market, but if he does not make proper use of the time and resources, who is to blame? Bringing poor grades in the exam is the child’s fault. Many children blame their parents saying, they got too many books,  got confused, or,  wasted their time, only the class notes would have been enough. Knowledge is never enough.

In a marriage, the blame game is very common. Both the spouses are at loggerheads with each other, due to trivial issues, which later escalate and become serious. If the guilty party owns up, things can change. By guilty, I mean, people who might be responsible for particular incidents. Sometimes it is ego, at others, it could be fear. One thing is for sure, there is a lot of peace if one accepts his or her role in it.

The first school of learning is one’s home and parents are our first teachers. It is their responsibility to raise kids with proper values strongly ingrained in them. This would lead to well-balanced adults and a better society. Less guilt and more forgiveness.

So, the next time you feel like blaming someone for something he/she has not done, won’t you stop and ponder over it?